"But I've Got Promises to Keep, And Miles to Go Before I Sleep..."

Posted on Tue Feb 17th, 2009 @ 10:24pm by

1,170 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Citadel Prime
Location: Bridge, USS Archimedes
Timeline: Current

Lieutenant Commander Rowena Arkham sat in her chair on the bridge, watching as the various members of her rather haggard crew-- but the fact remained; they were still three days from Citadel Prime, and even when they arrived, there would be much to do before they could finally breathe deep and rest, finally sit back and relax.

And even then, she realized, sighing, Rowena Arkham would be hard at work, wrapping up one mission and preparing for another, filing reports and trying to sort out as much information as she could before they were off once more -- just as it had always been. Just as it always would be. She was a Starfleet Officer, and such was the way of the world.

And now, more than ever, it seemed she felt the presence of that strange bedfellow called fear, something with which she had been very unfamiliar in her youth-- she feared for her crew, her ship and herself. Perhaps more than anything, she feared that she had finally created a rift between herself and Catherine that would never heal.

"Good evening, you old fool," said a soft feminine voice as a soft hand ran across her broad shoulders. Pressing a hot cup of tea into Rowena's hand and managing a slight smile, lingering for a moment before finally pulling her hands away, she said, "I thought I might find you up here. I figured you would be exhausted, but unwilling to drink tea made by a replicator -- lo and behold, here I am, Commander."

"Catherine--" Arkham began slowly.

"Hush," Catherine said, shaking her head. She knew, after ten years of traveling with Commander Arkham, exactly what was coming next, and it never ended well. "Don't worry about it. I know...that it's your job. I know that's the way that it's always going to be, and that it isn't my place to meddle with the way you choose to manage your crew. And I'm so sorry I..."

"No," Arkham said quietly, fixing Catherine in her steady cobalt gaze -- which was all the more intimidating with that milky and unseeing left eye. "You...weren't at fault. I shouldn't have done what I did -- it was uncalled for, and I know that I hurt you--"

Catherine smirked, putting her index finger to the old officers lips, silencing her immediately. "No, Rowena. Please believe me when I tell you that it's fine. The Executive Officer doesn't apologize for what she does, dear -- you don't owe me an explanation for anything you choose to do, and you know that."

Arkham smirked as much as her ruined face would allow, even though it was causing her a great deal of pain at this point, nodding as Catherine took a seat on the arm of her chair. Sipping at her tea, Arkham sighed, settling back again. Savoring the taste for a moment -- Catherine had made this tea herself; this was too good to have been made by a replicator -- Arkham let the doctor run a hand across her shoulders. Finally, she said, "How was your afternoon?"

"It was quite enjoyable," Catherine said, smiling warmly, resting her head on Arkham's shoulder. "I do enjoy spending time with Rory. I do wish that I'd thought to have one of my own in my youth. Although, I was traveling around the Quadrant with you -- wasn't exactly the proper place and company in which to raise a child, was it?"

Arkham smirked a little. "Please, don't make me feel any worse about that."

Catherine's features softened, as she said, "Don't. I don't regret any of it -- I never had a baby, but I had some amazing experiences with you; I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, and you know that. You shouldn't have to regret it."

Arkham gave a wry smirk. Catherine may have said such things, but it was one of those things that was easier said than done. Arkham often felt terrible that she had denied Catherine a life to have her as a doctor -- even though Catherine said she had never resented her, Arkham knew, innately, that on some level that wasn't true. That it couldn't possibly be true.

"How did the...disciplinary session go, Commander?" Halsey said finally, sighing. Se had avoided the subject for long enough now -- she knew full well that it had to come around to this eventually.

"I made my decision, and thankfully the Master Chief accepted it. I didn't want to lose her," Arkham said quietly. "She agreed to restriction to limits and extra duties, which made things easier. I often wonder...if perhaps I am in the wrong. It was....we know it was self defense, and..."

Catherine frowned. "It was self defense, but remember...Rowena, you're a good officer and you had to make a decision. And the fact is, somebody could have died today. You did what you had to do, and you kept this ship safe."

Arkham smirked a little, rasping simply, "Thank you, Catherine."

Catherine smiled coyly, as she asked, "Are you going to head off to bed yet?"

Arkham shook her head, looking up at the Doctor, "No, I'm staying on the bridge tonight -- giving Lane some time with his daughter. And besides, he needs the sleep more than I do right now -- I can go for a few hours yet before I crash. I'll probably pour myself into bed around 0500 or so. Earlier, if I an get away with it -- I may use Executive Officer privileges to do so."

Catherine shook her head, chuckling a little. She would never understand how old Arkham did it, day after day. "All right, I'll leave you to it, Commander. Goodnight, you old fool."

Turning away and heading for the exit, Dr. Halsey paused , looking back to the old officer sitting in her chair. The was no doubt that she'd come a long way since the injury ten years ago -- Catherine allowed the soft ghost of a smile to reach her lips, watching as the officer barked orders to a couple of young men on the bridge, sitting in that chair -- looking every inch the noble and dignified officer that she was. Frowning somewhat, Arkham sighed deeply looking into the tea as if it held all the answers she so desperately needed.

Dr. Halsey smiled a little, and said, "Hey, you."

Arkham turned, looking at the doctor with a look of profound sadness in her eye -- and Halsey died a little inside, knowing that Arkham wasn't thinking about her. "Yes, Catherine--"

"None of that, now...Megan would be so proud of you."

Arkham smirked, nodding nearly imperceptibly, as Catherine turned to leave once more. Perhaps it was true -- perhaps some ghosts never stopped following you, no matter what you did to assuage your guilt-ridden conscience, and lurked forever in your peripheral vision, in the distorted corners of your nostalgic mind.

And she hated Megan Ellard for it.

 

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