Apathy (and Other Defeats)

Posted on Mon Apr 20th, 2009 @ 2:24am by

1,018 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Wolves in Sheep's Clothing
Location: Quarters of the Executive Officer, USS Archimedes
Timeline: Current

Commander Rowena Arkham arrived in her quarters to the sound of Catherine Halsey bustling around the small rooms, gathering up her things from the Commander's quarters. Arkham knew she was at fault, as she always was -- but it was the sad truth of the matter was that she'd perhaps lost the willingness to attempt to intervene.

As Rowena poured herself a glass of scotch and took a sip she made a bit of a face. She had always loved the taste of a nicely aged scotch (matured in an oak barrel, if she got to be picky), but since her transfer she'd had nothing but synthahol...a change that was subtle, but she could taste it after so many years of being a moderately heavy drinker. Overall though, she wouldn't complain. It meant she could drink it during the day with no threat of intoxication, and what downside was there to that?

As she turned around, she noticed the svelte form of Catherine Halsey standing in the room in front of her, looking deeply upset. She smirked as she saw the drink in the officer's hand, "You're drinking again. Of course."

"Synthahol," Arkham said coolly.

"Of course," Catherine said, pushing her glasses further up onto the bridge of her nose. "Because heaven forbid that the godlike Rowena Arkham commit a sin on duty--"

"There is no God," Arkham said coldly. "And if there is, I'm nothing like Him. I am not perfect, Catherine, and I have never claimed to be. You of all people should know this."

Catherine looked at the old officer with a distinct look of sadness in her bright blue eyes. Sighnig she said, "I'm not even talking about you being perfect. This has nothing to do with--"

"Then what is this, Catherine?" Arkham said coldly. "I hate mind games. I do them for a living, and I hate them. If you were anyone else, I wouldn't be this civil. You mean more to me than any of these other idiots, so let's--"

"Shut up!" Catherine cried, looking at the officer. "For once, shut up. All you've done is talk for ten years now, Commander, and now it's my turn, damn it! You at least owe me that much for wasting the best years of my life on you!"

Rowena was greatly taken aback by this. Saying nothing, she nodded once at the clearly upset Doctor Halsey. The Doctor took a deep breath, shutting her eyes and letting it out slowly.

"It's not the drinking that makes me angry," Catherine began slowly. "It's not even the sex with all those other women, when I'm here, willing to give you my body and my soul in an instant and without hesitation because I love you. Or I used to. I don't know. I think what's kept us together so long is my ability...to overlook things. And I do it because..."

There was a long, pregnant pause, before Halsey finally sighed and said, "That's the problem, Rowena. I don't know how to finish that sentence anymore."

Arkham sighed, looking at the doctor with a sad look in her eye. "Catherine, I...I know that my work has--"

"You really...don't understand what I'm feeling at all, do you? Your ability to empathize with anyone else really...is dead, isn't it?" Catherine looked at her, exasperated. "This isn't even about your job, Rowena! I was wrong...you have changed. This ship...I don't know, you're not Rowena Akrham anymore! At least when we got here...I could overlook the drinking and the women because I knew that on some level, you cared!"

"Catherine--"

"This...this is about no matter what the hell is happening, no matter what the hell you do, the morality of your actions completely escapes you!"

Arkham said nothing, simply took another sip of her scotch.

"You just don't get it, do you?! I can't...cope with this apathy. I'm not even sure you really care at all." Catherine said, exasperated.

"Catherine, I--"

"Think about Megan Ellard!" Catherine said coldly. "She died because of a bomb in your office. But that's not even the best part. You turned to get champagne, and you turned around and you saw it on the underside of your desk as you were lecherously looking her up and down like some piece of meat. You knew it was there. And you turned away, pretending you forgot something--"

"I didn't--" Arkham began again.

"You did. Hence why you only lost half your face and you aren't dead too. You as good as killed her. Boom. You could have told her, you could have pushed her away, jumped on top of it, or transported it to goddamned Australia! But you didn't lift a finger! You don't give a damn about other people!

"Catherine, none of that is true--" Arkham began, sighing.

Catherine gave her a haughty chuckle. "Rowena, face the facts: You let Megan Ellard die. You probably didn't care about me before you ditched me, and soon you won't be interested in that well-bred bitch either!"

At this, Arkham snapped. Cracking the glass with one hand and sending alcohol across the room and shards of glass into her hand. She moved to take a swing at the doctor, but froze, processing the horror on Catherine's face. "I..."

Catherine placed a hand on Rowena's shoulder, and took Rowena's bloody hand in hers. Removing the shard of glass, she wrapped the Executive Officer's hand in a soft handkerchief to act as a pressure dressing. Drawing close to the officer, she placed a chaste kiss on Arkham's cheek.

"I'll keep this quiet for you," Halsey said quietly. "I...know that this is hard. I'll be living with Mrs. Gray until I go back to Earth. I'll have...Dr. Mabren take a look at your hand. And before I leave, I will find another craniofacial surgeon to work on you. I promise."

Turning to leave, she paused before the door. "You're...drifting out of touch, Rowena. This situation...this Harwood woman...you're becoming a flake. God help us all."

 

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