Extending The Hands Of Friendship

Posted on Thu Jul 30th, 2015 @ 8:55pm by Commander Rylie Cattmor & Lieutenant Jensen Foster

2,014 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: A Civil Act
Location: Jensen's Quarters
Timeline: Mission's Intermission

The mission was over, and so were the nightmares and dreams; the effects of the cloud had been dispersed, there was no further threat to the planetary population, and warning buoys had been deployed. Yet there were still so many situations on Ranger that begged to be fixed, especially when it came to personal and working relationships.

Luckily, Cattmor's working relationship with Lieutenant Blake had not only survived the past mission, they'd even worked reasonably well together despite the thoughts leaking from his head--a consummate professional. The other major one of note would have had to have been with Lieutenant Foster. While they didn't have major problems, several instances of personal interactions caused some sizable damage reports to be made, and their last meeting could only be described as taxing. Rylie and Dylan were at least on speaking terms at the moment, but since Jensen summarily dismissed her from his company and quarters, they had not spoken, or had any interaction for a couple of days on their journey back to Federation space. This was a situation that needed resolving, as soon as possible; which is why she was here.

After the request to enter his quarters had been granted, Rylie slowly ventured inside, realising that she'd interrupted the repair work to Jensen's replicator unit after she'd teeked his dining table into it. It was an uncomfortable reminder of their last conversation. "I'm pleased to see things on the mend."

Turning away from looking at the crew members working on the damage, Jensen looked at Cattmor. Quirking an eyebrow, he said, "And just how would you know, Commander?"

"Well, the request was on the Q-T," she replied with half a smile. "Moving from Engineering to being X-O has its privileges, I was able to pass this on as a favour owed."

"Do I look like I need any favours? You're the one who mangled my replicator."

At that, Rylie's smile immediately faded, especially noting the engineers thoughts and brief pause of activity. "I know. That's why I'm here..." Upon starting that sentence and faltering however, she found she didn't actually know where to go from there.

Jensen ran a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose, and breathed in a heavy sigh. Letting it out a moment later, he let his hand fall away and looked at Cattmor. All he could see when he looked at her was... disappointment, anger, and fear. Not that she was feeling those emotions, but it was more of what a counselor would call transference; the mind projecting one's thoughts and feelings onto another. Only with Jensen, that normally self-destructive behavior could become a reality for the other person -- he could actually make someone feel what he felt.

Keeping a lock on his ability as best as he could, he crossed his arms across his chest and spoke the Frian woman, "Why are you here?" And while he'd expected his voice to sound cold and heart-less, instead he sounded sad and fearful.

She actually felt a bit choked. She also realised what was happening and was then really unsure of what she actually felt. "I..." Rylie started, then faltered again, closing her eyes briefly. Was she actually feeling anything? Nervousness, shame, fear? Were these actually real or being projected? No, the fear was real, was definitely hers, she knew that. Afraid that this could have happened, that it did happen; and that things would not be patched up, that Jensen would once again throw her out of his quarters. "I came to offer my apologies." she said, her gaze not directly on him. Most people looked for signs in body language, but her abilities afforded her other alternatives to reading people.

"But you're not the only one to blame." It was whispered more than said. Jensen peered at the woman before him and waited for her to respond.

Rylie took a sharp breath in and let it out slowly; as responses went, it wasn't the worst she'd had. "Be that as it may, I was responsible for the majority of this." she said motioning slightly to the damage and repairs underway. "The circumstances were extenuating," she continued, thinking back to the situation, and the inclusion of Lindell baiting her, but refused to go into that part of it in any further detail, "I don't think anyone could assign full blame for anything that happened on this past assignment. It might be one of the seven deadly sins Mister Foster, but thanks to my father I have a lot of pride, and dignity, integrity, and I think that all of those have been damaged. Because of what could happen, I've practiced a lot of self control over the years, and never have I had so much trouble to control my own natural talents than since you came aboard."

Narrowing his eyes, Jensen responded, "You think you're the only one who hasn't practiced self-control?"

"That wasn't an accusation." Rylie interjected sharply.

"Sure did sound like one to me." Jensen closed his eyes, sighing and shaking his head. Not really at how she was reacting, but at how he was handling the situation. Fear had a hard grip on him and he couldn't help the feelings of animosity and rejection that were swarming over himself.

Once again the fear crept back into her head, that her apology was being returned with animosity and rejection. "Jensen, I tried, okay? But if you don't want to hear it... I guess I'm wasting my time coming here in the first place."

At the sound of movement, Jensen opened his eyes and found that Cattmor was turning away. Not only did he feel and sense what Cattmor was feeling, but his own feelings had become too much. As such, he was picking up on the feelings of the few crew members working in his quarters. Guilt sudden hit him hard and he did the only thing he could think of... Rylie... Wait! I... I'm sorry!

Cattmor stood fast, her neck and shoulders tensing, but she said nothing, not even in her mind. Floods of thoughts were rushing into it but there was no locality to them, making her feel a little disoriented.

Looking at her still form, Jensen sucked in a shuddering breath. Exhaling, he looked at the few crew members, who were staring at him rather flabbergasted. Apparently his telepathic outburst had been a little more public than he'd intended. Looking at them all, he said, "Can you guys give the Commander and I some privacy?" It wasn't until after they'd exited that Cattmor turned around to face him.

She was actually pleased that he'd asked the engineering crew to leave; if he hadn't, she would have, and how she felt in the moment, probably less nicely, which was not in keeping with her general character--upbringing, background, and habit causing her to even be polite with the computer. When they had left, it seemed as though the air had gotten sucked right out with them, and no-one said anything for a few long and laborious seconds, until finally, "Apology accepted," Rylie said quietly. "Though I don't really know why... that is, why I'm staying. They've only just fitted that; I'd hate for something to happen to that one as well."

Rylie paused to take another breath, and continued quickly, "Jensen, this has to stop. This bottled-up anger, this unfocused aggression is only going to make matters worse, that much harder to get over and move on. If you can't accept that, then I can't meet you anywhere near halfway. We've both apologised, but that's still not fixed anything. I don't know what you want from me, what you need me to do, especially since I'm involved, as your superior officer, it's part of my job description to make things right so that you can function at peak efficiency on this ship."

Realizing she was right, Jensen felt himself deflate. Sinking down onto his couch, he just held his head in his hands, trying to find the right words to say. After a few seconds of silence, he looked up at the woman standing before him. And while he still wasn't sure what he was going to say, he couldn't help the thought that flashed through his mind. God, she's beautiful... It was quick, sudden, and a bit of a shock. And even though it was only there for a split second, he was sure Rylie had picked up on it since her brow furrowed and she momentarily had this confused expression on her face. Blushing slightly, he shoved that tiny train of thought aside, and found the words he was looking for, which oddly enough he wouldn't have found if it weren't for that fleeting thought.

"I know you're involved, not just as a friend, but as my superior officer. And to be honest, I don't know what I need or want from you." A small part of his mind whispered that he was being rather asinine. Standing up, he took a step towards the woman, feeling oddly like a shy teenager at that point. Something about the way she was looking at him right in that moment had his palms sweating and his face flushing even hotter. He looked downward for a moment and mentally shook it off as best as he could. When he looked back up at her, his eyes connected with her green ones, and he found himself saying, "I-I just... need a little time."

Something about his voice seemed off. It sounded rough, raw, and... husky? Not to mention that what he'd said sounded really lame. What the hell was going on with him? First that thought and now this? Jensen knew he would have some thinking to do later, when he was alone and not having half the ship in his quarters. "I just need to get my head on straight and figure some things out," he continued. That also sounded rather lame, but he trailed on anyway, "I apologize for being... less than cordial earlier and I am glad you stopped by. Really, I am." He then smiled at her, maybe not a full smile, but a half-smile, to at least show he was grateful.

She wasn't sure where to go from there, she didn't have a clue, and with all the mixed feelings and thoughts coming from Jensen, she suspected that he had no real idea what was next either. What he was saying, and what he was thinking was conflicted, and she doubted that in this instance, anything was going to get resolved. If he needed time, then that was certainly one thing she could give him. For anything else, well, she wasn't really sure what to think.

"Okay," she said finally, realising that neither had spoken for a few long seconds. "And if it's time you truly want, I can give you a little." she added, knowing full well that this rift had to be closed by the time they were sent on their next mission. For everything else she was feeling, projected or not, she was feeling awkward, and awkward enough to make her leave. For now, this had gone okay, not great, but okay. "Well... I guess I should leave you and the teams to get on with things." she said stepping back, "And if you need me, well, you know where I am."

Jensen nodded his head slightly, feeling an overwhelming sense of confusion and awkwardness. He looked at Cattmor and attempted a smile. "Yes, I know where I can find you, if I need you. Thank you, again, for coming to see me." With that last word, he watched her exit. A second later the repair crew came back into his quarters and Jensen not only felt their curiosity, but could feel the stares from them all. Sighing, he left his quarters quickly, intending to head to the holodeck. At least there he'd be alone and think through his thoughts and feelings.

__
OFF

Rylie Cattmor
XO

Jensen Foster
CMO

 

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