Walker's walkthrough

Posted on Tue Oct 25th, 2011 @ 8:32pm by Lieutenant JG Lucy Carter

906 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Taylforth
Timeline: Current

:ON

The EMH picked up the last PaDD of the day on his office desk, read the first few lines and sighed a holographic sigh to the empty walls of sickbay. He tapped his commbadge and said, "Emergency Medical Hologram to Ensign Walker."

Walker's eyes flicked open. A mixture of mild shock and fuzzy headedness that goes with being woken up shortly after you've gone to sleep, washed over him. The thoughts of 'Where am I', quickly turned to 'Why is an EMH calling me?'. "This is Walker, go-ahead."

"Ah, Ensign. Delighted you could join my conversation. I know it's late but I have just been reviewing this month's medical logs and have noticed that you haven't yet paid me the customary onboarding visit required under Starfleet regulations. I could quote you the number and relevant paragraph but I suspect my programmers wanted my matrix to be used for more succinct concepts. Yes, Ensign, it's time for your medical. Would you do me the courtesy of reporting to sick bay immediately and we can get this over with? God knows why I get all the routine jobs..."

In truth, Walker had only processed half of what the EMH had said.
He turned his head to read his bedside display. 23:30. He'd been asleep for exactly 13 minutes.

"Ensign Walker?"

Walker rolled onto his front, burying his head in the pillow in the vain hope that if he couldn't see his comm badge, somehow the EMH would stop berating him. "It's pretty late doctor.", he mumbled through his pillow.

"ENSIGN WALKER PLEASE REPORT TO SICKBAY. What do you mean it's late? It's only eleven thirty.

The EMH hummed to himself while he prepared the biobed and reset his medical tricorder. The sickbay doors opened and he looked up with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "I really do expect a slightly prompter response to my hails, Ensign." He wheeled a medical trolley round to the other side of the biobed and looked up at the Ensign again as his humming reached a coda and he finished with a smug expression. "Come on in then."

Walker looked at the Doctor. His mood shifted from it's initial annoyance, to a mixture of curiosity and mild loathing. Why did they have an EMH? Where was the actual flesh and blood medic? And WHY was it a Mark 1? Renowned throughout the fleet for having the worst bedside manner since Harold Shipman. Walker thought they'd been retired for years. The last operational example was Voyager's much talked about EMH that had been running for nearly 15 years now and had been given special dispensation due to its autonomous emitter and lovely singing voice.


"Mmm. Hold still, please. I need to scan you." The EMH wafted the detached reader of the tricorder over Ensign Walker's torso and nodded quietly to himself. Then he snapped it shut and said, "open your mouth please, Ensign."

Walker's loathing was increasing from mild to medium. "Doctor couldn't this wait until, I don't know, I'm on actual duty or genuinely awake."

The EMH peered inside his mouth and said, "mmm" again. He tapped a few words on his PaDD and finally said, "the only thing wrong with you Ensign apart from your terrible dress sense is that you are clearly not getting enough sleep."

Walker looked down at what he was wearing, which was his authentic replica 2235 ESC (European Soccer Conglomerate) shirt and some, ever so tight Bermuda shorts. "It was a little late for your reverse house call doctor."

"Late? Good god, man, you can be late when you're dead." He smiled. "A little bedside humour there. I bet you're wondering what an old Mark 1 EMH like me is doing here and well you may. They couldn't bear to decomission such an unbelievably winning formula of photons and forcefields and a few of us live on, our programming ever the better for continued use." He poked at his PaDD and nodded as he completed writing the record.

"There you are, Ensign. You may go." He turned his back and pushed the trolley away, spinning it to the wall so it landed perfectly alongside the console. "Oh, and might I suggest some slightly more, er, spacious undergarments? For a man of your stature, I am certain you would not want to disappoint the ladies with a non functioning set of reproductive organs." He jabbed a finger towards the Ensign's lower area and smiled. "Slacken them off."

‘Brilliant’ thought Walker. Not only was he hideously tired he was now under the impression a hologram had questioned his manhood. He gingerly rose to his feet. “Anything you say Doctor.†He turned towards the door, and slowly walked towards it, so as to avoid chaffing. Walker paused as the sickbay doors slid open and turned back to face the Doctor, who by now was already focusing on an array of vividly coloured hyposprays. “If we could arrange our next visit around my shifts that would be really helpful. Oh and Doctor, you seem to have less hair than the other Mark 1’s I’ve seen, you might want to get your Matrix looked at.†With that, Walker left sickbay, with a little more of a spring in his step, just being careful not too crush anything too delicate as he shuffled back towards his quarters.

: OFF

A joint post by
Ensign William Walker
and
the EMH played by Lieutnant JG Lucy Carter

 

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