The Ties (and Shackles) that Bind
Posted on Thu Jan 27th, 2011 @ 11:19am by Lieutenant Commander Eliza McAdams & Captain Elsie Halliwell
1,776 words; about a 9 minute read
Mission:
Looking for the Future in all the Wrong Places
Location: Via Subspace Communication
Timeline: Current
ON:
The night air was cooling, filtering in through the large open window in a gentle stream that set the curtains dancing, a lazy spiral waltz that lent them an almost ethereal quality, as if twin spirits had invaded the large living area but been unable to permeate more than a meter beyond the window frame. Somewhere outside, just close enough to be heard, a melodical wind-chime kept pace with each gust of wind and the distant call of a nocturnal bird at hunt interspersed the otherwise humid silence that gave the night a settled calmness even though events had proven to be anything but soothing. Through the thin gap that had appeared between the drapes, scattered pin-pricks of light twinkled amidst the backdrop of moonlit blue-green, its reflection staining the carpet wherever it touched. Even chaos could be beautiful from certain angles.
She woke with a start, catapulted from sleep with a suddenness she was unfortunately used to of late. She was also familiar with being completely uncertain as to what it was that had prompted her to awaken but the dull headache had become a constant companion though this eerie green glow was also not something she was used to. Recouperation they called this, the incessant inactivity and staring at walls whilst an alien mind peered out from behind distrustful eyes and tried to make sense of the pervading sense of division dissecting her thoughts in two. Ingrained strength fought the invasion of fresh sensory input with all the trademark stubbornness that marked the fractured psyche currently screaming for its dominance but the result was far from the promise of recovery all were hoping for. The stranger within. After a moment's hesitation as she recalled her ability to do so, she lifted a hand and stared at her fingertips. They tingled.
"Physically, the change is absolutely remarkable. They told us, of course, that a speedy recovery was likely if she survived the procedure without signs of rejection but to see her, Elsie dear... I doubt anyone would believe that she was close to being declared dead last week."
On the screen, well-worn lines etched deeply into the frowning features of a face remarkably similar, if a good deal older, to the one staring back at it. Only five minutes into the conversation and the elder Halliwell matriach was already betraying the toll recent events had taken. Still, Audrey smiled at her daughter and drew a deep breath before continuing.
"We brought her home yesterday, the doctors felt it best. Not that I think they could have dissuaded Douglas in any case, he still hasn't forgiven himself for being unavailable when it first happened."
A silent and pregnant moment hung in the air between mother and daughter for a comfortable moment as Elsie caught her breath and organised her thoughts through the emotional waterfall that seemed to continually and ceaselessly flow over her usually clear thoughts. “How is Douglas?â€
It wasn’t her initial thought, and Audrey knew that of her daughter… knew that, aside from her inherited sister and recovery, she was that first concern.
It touched Elsie, in all honesty. Nothing brought a family, no matter how unoriginal, closer together than a tragedy. Or a near loss. She heaved a sigh as her mother twitched on the viewscreen and wanted to reach through and give her comfort.
"Brooding, as always." Despite the weight of the past week's unhappy tension, the older woman smiled with fond affection as she embraced with simple grace her husband's many foibles. Audrey's smile lingered a moment before fading. "I suspect he will always second-guess himself, it was not an easy decision to make. Such an experimental procedure with no clear guarantees. As much as Rose's physical recovery has been nothing short of miraculous, there's no way of knowing just how much we've saved." Her puckered lips arched ruefully. "She's barely spoken. Douglas' overriding fear in all this has been restoring her to a life she would have avoided if given the choice. Especially if she fails to return to duty."
Halliwell softened at her mother’s grief. It was clear in those careworn eyes, deepened since the last week’s events, that she was carrying not only the anguish gifted to a mother (as that, despite different blood flowing through Eliza and Audrey, was what she was to the shadow-woman) but also that of a wife. “Douglas made the right choice, Mumma. And he knows that. Eliza is much stronger than she even pretends to be. If anyone could make a success of this procedure, it’s her.â€
She wanted to tell her mother that, regardless of her condition, she would accept Eliza back with the Ranger, and unburden that weight for all three of them, but she couldn’t. Duty did come before family, and that is where Halliwell knew her own human failings began. “I’ll do everything I can to see her back in the Fleet, Mumma. You know that. But…†and she sighed, “there is a possibility that that may not be enough.â€
"Yes, well," replied Audrey, her thin-lipped optimism highlighting the fragile desire to hold things together for all concerned. "I suppose we'll jump that hurdle when we get to it. I will say that I think even Douglas is surprised by how many supporters Eliza has amongst her colleagues." The older woman's eyes sparkled for a moment with renewed vitality. "I rather think he was of the opinion that she had about as many friends as he does. Several messages have come from within StarFleet Command itself, which has been a comfort at least. They seem to think there's nothing jeopardising her new position whilst she's still on approved medical leave." Drawing in a deep, calming breath, Audrey smiled again and adopted the same reassuring tone of voice she'd been calling upon for the last week. "We've been told it should only be a matter of weeks for her to regain enough mobility to walk unaided. In Eliza's case, that probably means she'll be back in training before the end of the month. I can't help feeling, however..." Audrey frowned. "She's very withdrawn. Visiting us was never her favourite past-time, I did wonder if we shouldn't have perhaps taken her somewhere else."
“It’s probably for the best that she’s home, Mumma,†Elsie lied quietly. “As strong willed as you think she is, everyone needs support and comfort through times of trial… even Eliza.†Elsie at least believed the second part of what she had said. But, knowing Eliza as they both did, the attempt to comfort her mother was futile. And they both knew it. “Once she is up and about, I can discuss with her about maybe returning to Training.†Halliwell was keen to have the experimental department back on board the Ranger as its fleeting existence before the accident and Larkin’s transfer seemed promising to not only her but her superiors.
"This isn't her home," Audrey replied sadly, reflecting on her daughter's initial reassurance. "And we can't expect her to view it as one. The doctors said familiarity was key but you're both such transient people." There was a pause, a very noticeable and almost predictable one, before the older woman's tone changed slightly and veiled hope was neatly tucked away behind a tone of force reasonableness. "Speaking of which, your cousin Riina's daughter is getting married in the spring. A nice Betazoid boy, Riina's ever so worried that his family are going to insist on a traditional wedding." Chuckling, she added, "I know you're busy, dear, but it would be lovely if you could get home for it. Or come sooner if that fits in with your schedule better, Douglas and I aren't planning on another trip until Eliza is better situated."
Elsie flicked her eyes away from the screen, noting what standard duties she had yet to fulfil mentally before turning back to the screen with a fond and loving expression. “You know it’s not that easy for me, Mumma,†she said almost gleefully; the tone of the conversation now changed for its duration. “But… I’ll try. I promise you both that much.â€
The rueful edge to Audrey's smile suggested she was already reasonably sure of the outcome, much the same as many other requests she'd made in the past. She was proud of her daughter and, though not StarFleet trained herself, had grown to understand the importance of duty and sacrifice, even moreso in the years following the war. She had hoped that her younger stepsister's very close brush with death might have stirred some sense of priority when it came to family but Audrey honestly knew her child far too well to really hold out much more than a fleeting, wistful hope. She had lived, for years, with the fear of the suffering her husband was now enduring but she smiled, as always, and simply replied, "Just do your best, dear, that's all I ask."
As her mother spoke, the internal comm. rumbled through her office interrupting both Audrey’s speech and Elsie’s focus.
“Captain to the bridge,†Ensign Lange uttered rather disconnectedly.
Elsie’s face fell as a mock gloomy expression formed over her features. “Always busy, Ma,†she said as Audrey fell silent. “You know how it is.†The bleeding expression from her own eyes betrayed her sense of abandonment as her mother stared back through the screen. “I’m sorry,†was all she could manage before breaking the contact with her inherited glare.
The silence lingered just a little too long, the events of the past week weighing too heavily on old shoulders for Audrey to mask, with her usual aplomb, the sense of hurt she felt whenever Elsie placed her work before all else. For many years she had granted her daughter the luxury of a guilt-free conscience but the facade slipped and the woman's pale features greyed as she quietly replied, "All right, dear. I'll tell Douglas and Eliza you send your love. Be safe, I love you." The words, whilst sincere, had a hollow ring to them.
“I love you too, Mumma. Send my love to Douglas… and to Eliza.â€
The screen darkened as Elsie kissed her index and middle finger and gently placed it against the blackened image. “I’m sorry,†she whispered to herself. “I’m sorry, Mumma.â€
OFF:
Captain Elsie Halliwell
Commanding Officer
USS Ranger
AND
Audrey Halliwell-McAdams (Played by Karen)
Family Member
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