Third thoughts

Posted on Wed Feb 11th, 2009 @ 11:31pm by Lieutenant JG Lucy Carter

337 words; about a 2 minute read

A busy day. I decided to forgo my trip to the holodeck in order to make my presence known to the ship's EMH. After all, it looks like the Chief Medical Officer has been delayed so the EMH will be called upon for this mission.

I made my way to sickbay, not seeing anyone on the way and still worrying about how that carpet got cleaned. Did anyone gain access to my quarters? And if so, why would they clean the carpet?

Sickbay. "Computer, activate the Emergency Medical Hologram, please" I asked and the EMH fizzed into life.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency" said the EMH.

"Hello, I'm Ensign Lucy Carter" I said. "Pleased to meet you".

"And what's wrong with you, Ensign?" asked the EMH.

"Nothing, I just wanted to introduce myself."

"Not a sound use of the ship's resources" snapped the EMH.

"Well you're a bundle of fun" I said.

"I am not programmed to be fun. I am here to serve" said the EMH. Now hold still while take a DNA sample from you.

And with that, he lunged forward and pulled out two of my hairs.

"OW!" I exclaimed. "Are you supposed to do that?"

"I find it's a much more satisfactory way of getting a sample than wasting time with getting patients to lie down. Now if you will excuse me, I have work to do".

The EMH walked over to the testing bench and began scanning my hairs with his tricorder. "Interesting" he mumbled to himself. "Traces of non-human origin in this sample".

"What do you mean non human?" I asked, shocked. As far as I knew I was 100% human.

"Oh, nothing, nothing" he said. Must be a contaminated sample.

"Are EMHs allowed to lie?" I asked him.

"No. Now out, out, out of my sickbay. I have work to do".

I left, puzzled at his findings and made my way back to my quarters.... past the holodeck on the way, where my skiing programme beckoned after all.

 

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